Denne’s Quarterlife Log #007
The Weeksary Special lol
Okay. It’s been a week since I’ve decided I am going through something.
I spent the day trying to work on my papers and boom when I was about to send them to my senior the internet fails me. I am now using my phone’s data. This is something I would not miss in the Philippines. Speaking of missing the PH, I am even more confused now because I’m being offered two houses and two jobs in the musical part of London. Which is fine by me because hello, all my favorite bands are British (lol boyband republic). But why would i want to stay there when I’m getting a tourist visa soon and also because my aunt told me London will bore me to the point of melting and bubbling and evaporating.
I also realized that the world is so big and I’ve only traveled so little of it—- as a child I wanted to be an anthropologist because, culture and life. But i’m afraid when i get to see the world i’m gonna be hitting another wall and what would i want to do next, travel to outer space? That’s sick but, nope I do not want to go to outer space.
Been hitting up a bunch of old friends so i can have travel and life buddies. You know, friends are forevs. Apparently my friends are not as free and as fortunate as me. Sorry friends, I would have paid for our trips if i weren’t saving up for retirement but right now we can only pay for our own expenses.
My mind keeps messing up my life right now. I haven’t eaten in more than 30 hours and I’m trying to eat my favorite comfort food but it doesn’t taste right. Yesterday I tried eating karekare and lechon (my two favorite food in the history of heeestouryyy) but they don’t taste right too. It’s cooked the same way as always but i just feel like my senses are failing me. I’ve been listening a lot to mellow indie folk with cutesy harmonies which is weird again. I feel cold even if it’s 30 degrees celsius. I have felt this before and I know where this is leading. Which is why im trying so hard to distract myself by working my shit off papers and shit. They say this should last only two weeks so if it lasts more than two weeks then i need serious help. I’m trying so hard to keep myself entertained and happy but this blows.
When i’m not doing anything i tend to sleep. Which is bad because i can’t sleep at night and it makes me sick and fat among many other things. I know i should be taking care of myself but right now nope not in the mood to.
But oddly though when i’m sad my confidence tends to boost itself. I need to smile more because that attracts good vibes. And i need to talk to people more.
Goal #7: Smile.
Trip was almost free because one of us lives there.
Denne’s Quarterlife Log #006
Metal bible whaaaat?
I spent this day mostly sleeping because this schedule makes me nocturnal during the weekends.
I woke up not knowing what to do so i went to the mall and for some reason bought lolo shoes and lola shoes. If there are two things that calm me down in an instant it’s 1) listening to live music and 2) shopping.
My headset miraculously revived itself after being broken for a few months. It’s a sign!
Also for some reason I had been confiding my feels to my #1 life hater (because if I told my friends they’ll just what, baby me) and he’s actually right and wrong at the same time and that makes me even more confused about my feels.
For a few weeks now I’ve seen 1) that i forget about eating and I’ve lost appetite 2) my sleeping pattern is fucked up 3) i’ve been making myself pretty a lot and 4) i’ve been trying to contact old friends a lot. I know where this is heading because this was exactly how I was last year (and yes around this month too).
So phuket, thailand. Yolo kung yolo na ito. No restraints. No regrets. No limits. And no recollection of the previous night, hahaha.
Goal #6: live life without limits.
Yoga slings are the most comfortable things I’ve ever put under my feet. Seriously.
I’m on my touristy hauling phase in prep for my backpacking around the world masterplan.
I don’t know how to respond when people tell me “your *insert object here* looks nice” because normally I would say thank you if it were something I made or it was a part of my body but if it weren’t like what do I say?? Because I find no sense in thanking someone for liking something I just bought.
Anyway I also don’t understand but everyone likes my tortie glasses. And I bought these for only 200 pesos from a store in Araneta Center (or was it Gateway?) when Mikee and I met last V-Day, and had the lenses replaced for 350 pesos in an optical shop —- yes they are sturdy enough to hold a huge ass -4.75 pair of lenses.